...Radishes?

      Do you remember how you grew lima bean plants in elementary school? And how your teacher would measure them and say, "Look, Jake, yours grew a whole inch!" And how it was a competition to see whose would grow the fastest? Do you remember?

      I remember vividly.

      Mine died.

      I've always been bitter about that.

Cue the humble radish.

      In case you couldn't tell, I will be growing radishes for the next six weeks in an attempt to redeem myself. At the moment, I am researching the types of soil, fertilizer, etc. that I'll need in order to produce an edible vegetable. Next week, I will plant several sets of radishes, including one "control" group and several "experimental" groups. The control group will copy the exact instructions given by most books* and websites, while the experimental groups will utilize the (often peculiar**) personal methods of long-time gardeners  and gardening forum members. About four days after planting, I should start to see sprouts, if I planted correctly. Three days after that, I can start thinning the radishes (removing the small, weak radishes so the bigger ones have more room to grow).

      The reason I'm not growing a more versatile vegetable is that radishes are among the fastest growing plants. Three to four weeks after planting***, they should be large enough for me to harvest. At this point, I will see whether I have succeeded or failed in my gardening attempt. I would like to produce at least one*** edible radish to display for my TED talk, but multiple radishes from multiple growing methods would be ideal.

      Of course, throughout this whole process, I have to give the radishes enough water and sunlight every day. I must fertilize them, check their temperature, and compare the progress of each set. I will remain loyal to my chosen growing method, even if the radishes seem to be dying, and make sure I'm doing the right actions for that growing stage. If I do everything right, I should be able to see them growing, as they grow slightly above ground. If I mess it up...


      I guess radishes are kind of like fish. They don't seem like a big deal, but if you don't monitor them daily, they'll die.




* Like the Northeastern Garden Book and the Complete Book of Houseplants and Indoor Gardening
** Just gonna leave this here. Scroll down to the long comment.
*** Unfortunately, it is the nature of gardening that I cannot plan a specific timeline. The radishes have control of my progress.
**** My expectations are pretty low. I've never taken care of anything except my dog, although "taking care of him" consists of letting him outside to chase deer and letting him back in when he gets bored.